My Too (Many) Cents

 I read a blog post recently which tried to lay out principles for group rationality.  I wanted to see how they could come about emergent as a set of interactions between healthily developed egos.  To debate, you need to have high self esteem; The idea is to get others to believe in what you want. The ideal platonic essence of a debate is to  My break with platonism - deleuze talks about breaking against it in the sense of focusing on a essential perfection in things beyond the form that is revealed to us. My enjoyment of my music or my movement of my body is in the sense the atium shadow (from Brandon Sanderson's Mistborn series) of the platonic essence of perfection I have already cognized.  This is the 'natural intelligence' Krishnamurti talks about. I realised that there's no objective grounding for a concept of "self esteem", because it is never about focusing and doting on yourself. It is about nurturing it in so far as it can become something you let go...

 Now that I have given this process a name, of exploring thoughts along fault lines, there is an anxiety for it to become a repetitive procedure instead of an active involvement. So too is always a fear with any discipline I practice; Whenever I get mechanically trapped in some processes, I plateau and stagnate. It is only in exploring further and deeper that my brain can develop along an entirely new axis.  I have been having fun in imagining life as a series of games. The idea of a game is that its consequences don't matter outside its realm of influence. Yet at the same time they should feel real enough that they are motivating incentives to someone inside the game itself.  A game is structured by a set of rules. It is these rules that define what is the objective of the game. To win a game we must perceive a subtler, deeper aspect of the truth and express it through our bodies and minds than the opponent. The opponent then isn't so much an enemy as he is a medium for ...

This is an expopsition of an internal dialogue (again following a feldenkrais approach, exploring around in the realm of thought that is comfortable to me and trying to expand further.) Axiom: You should be dedicated to perfection or truth in whatever activity you pursue.  Justification: If this were not true, why are you doing anything in the first place. Life is meaningless and you can probably just kill yourself and nothing would change.  It's not like anything is going to change either way. Is there intrinsic moral worth to pursuing perfection in each action? No, even that is not true. If you think there is a moral worth assigned to this action then you are getting the pleasure of slave morality. Of imposing on others what you cannot live by yourself. It is not "good" to pursue perfection, a creative and subtle path through life. It is simply the only effective path. That is a stronger claim than what I believe to be true. There is some degree of tolerance, an epsilon...

 people are not who they seem.  in fact people are not people at all.  People are kernels of light. Of reason that guides how they move through life.  And that is not a romanticized or mystical notion.  How one breathes, How they orient their body. The sound each syllable makes. The silence in between. The space they take up. The relaxation of their muscles - of their face and their body.  Everything flows from the kernel of their truth. Human beings are sculptors and sculpted. Agents roaming the world with Kernel access to edit our own source code. Again, not in a romanticized self-improvement kind of way. But literally; To expose ourselves to our fears, anxieties and structure experience around us in a way that we can overcome them.  We are molten lava in the process of solidifying itself. Molten truth ossifying into the subject.  The clothes we choose to wear. How they rub against our skin. The way we touch each other, from a handshake to sex. ...

 A sperm and an egg fused to create a spark of truth.  A mother labored for 9 months to birth pure potentiality. Glimmer in its eyes, Looking towards the skies. Hope, curiosity, and wonder colored its imagination. So free were its sights, set on an ideal far beyond. Plastic idols, Plastic ideals violently violated the space for serendipity. Where it earlier saw a vigorous interplay of forces, now arose the plethora of forms. Ambition, Talent, Acheivement. The need to have been somebody.  To a being born of thunder, such an insult could never stand.  But as a king loses his regality in having lived with beggars long enough, so too did the being finally surrender.  Without love and truth we crumble and wither away.  Being deprived of his lifeblood, the baker begged for little crumbs.  And then bigger crumbs.  Looking down the well of his discontentment, he saw darkness deeper and deeper.  Blood curdling screams, grotesque scratching.  Bloo...

 There are unfathomably deep truths scattered across our collective psyche.  It is these truths that nourish our existence. The signal that breaks through the noise of unconsciousness and suffering.  The brain needs an objective function, so as to not always be struggling. These truths are the objective functions that we converge to. Even if you say there is no objective driving you, that is itself an objective function.  The first truth is that life really is meaningless. Just a play of material reality. Or perhaps units of consciousness.  Each truth has a domain of applicability, used outside which it becomes untrue. Searching for truths creates one's journey.  This whole exposition is an attempt to discover even deeper truths.  It is possible to go infinitely deep into anything, to be one with the flow of the universe. When you are that master, then it doesn't matter what you do, you create art.  The hero's journey mirrors our evolution. We sta...

A new season of your life requires new axioms, new beliefs and new perspectives. Axiom: In any discipline, truth is the only effective thing. Define the truth as the shortest path to the desired action, making the axiom tautological.  This shortest path is not necessarily in the space of time or effort. The time or labour it takes for a truth to become imbibed is a projection of that shortest path along some lower space. The truth can be intuited through reason. By reason the essence of knowledge is referred to; the pure sharp faculty of the mind. Reason can only grasp for truths that are already in one’s field of awareness. Once a truth is in one’s awareness, there is no choice but to excercise our reason and grasp for it. Its shape only becomes clarified in the labour of its coming into being. Human beings are creative by nature. All our modalities of existence in their most exalted forms are creative endeavours. Creativity is subtelty; understanding and expressing difference. Un...

Why disturb serene stillness? It is to only to attain clarity about what the stillness already conceals We do not reside in true stillness.  There is turbulence and flow all over its surface.  In composing all those flows towards a single direction.  In watching the whole process of their movement.  They extinguish, and we are once again left in stillness.  The inner having expressed itself as the outer.  what does it mean to see? To really see without hesitation, without flinching.  Every wrinkle, every crevice and every surface of another's skin.  To use your eyes as a mechanism to be put in touch with the real.  do we know how to see? What does it mean to hear? Listening to every word uttered from the other's mouth? Or rather watching every single movement of thought, every flex of the muscles on their face and every dilation of their eye. Letting each note ripple onto the silence of your mind. Until you are one with the very flow of thoug...

 The mind loves to escape.  At the base level we are escaping the fact that our ego is limited.  Life is about creating our own games and playing them perfectly to conquer our mind.  To create a game, one needs to establish a goal, a desire that deeply burns within him.  If this desire is not genuine, there is no start to this game.  There is no hero's journey without the establishment of a villain.  In reaching for a goal we get buffeted.  Romanticizing that situation, pitying it, resenting others these are all the common responses to this.  We are fundamentally lonely, playing a single player game.  Excellence in any pursuit is really conquering the mind.  If one does not move to change a situation it is because he does not feel threatened enough by it.  Comfort breeds complacency.  The only thing I am concerned with is human perfection.  Even then I do not care about others, in so far as we do not help each other....

 RL Agents - there are only goals. Goals in life are frames. Linguistically and through the whole mechanistic process we have a way of setting up our life to change what goals we are maximizing for.  Or rather even if we don't, we still have the understanding of how we are to deal with life - Victor Frankl -> Even if they take everything from you, you can still find meaning in how you deal with the situations that come up in life. I propose that that is the only way in which we can find meaning - A slave's freedom.  The only way to have integrity in the process of your thought, to not be a second hand human being is to be integrated. Self education is a step towards it. Saucha of thought is also to check what you allow yourself to be conditioned by.  The truth might break me. I've been mercilessly conditioned in every way that even when sparks of truth like this arise they can't last long. I feel tired already. There's infinite distraction, an incentive to open n...

The truth is not a bludgeon. It is easy for a truth to be conveyed in language for the form of language is too gross an instrument to convey the subtleties in truth.  Once conveyed, we have access to those mental markers. Yet, if it is something that you are not yet ready to live by, or doesn't correspond to your lived experience then it creates debt.  In the same way as having conversations about concepts that you assume to be true without examining for yourself creates epistemic debt, having principles or prescriptions for life given to you by others creates existential debt. I suppose that is karma in some senses. I have often used these deeper truths as bludgeons. They are guiding lights for sure, for example the metaphysical understanding of the Upanishads however, if one's body-mind apparatus is simply not ready to live by the truths it sees, these truths can break them.  It is no different from an addiction, an obsession. The life of a human can be seen in some way...