stream of consciousness with a touch of impersonality (FI #4)

 Now that I have given this process a name, of exploring thoughts along fault lines, there is an anxiety for it to become a repetitive procedure instead of an active involvement. So too is always a fear with any discipline I practice; Whenever I get mechanically trapped in some processes, I plateau and stagnate. It is only in exploring further and deeper that my brain can develop along an entirely new axis. 

I have been having fun in imagining life as a series of games. The idea of a game is that its consequences don't matter outside its realm of influence. Yet at the same time they should feel real enough that they are motivating incentives to someone inside the game itself. 

A game is structured by a set of rules. It is these rules that define what is the objective of the game. To win a game we must perceive a subtler, deeper aspect of the truth and express it through our bodies and minds than the opponent. The opponent then isn't so much an enemy as he is a medium for us to bring out our own potential. 

That is what problems are too. In fact everything is just that, a medium to bring out human perfection. The ramifications of this line of thought just hit me. It is easy for me to theorize and partially live by these propositions in my daily life at this point, which is relatively mundane and with not too much suffering because I have structured it in such a way, perhaps unconsciously. 

Life is an overwhelming force of obstacles hitting you everyday. We have a tendency to settle into repetitive routines and become apathetic to a lot of movements in life. Along many of these axes, then, we stop challenging ourselves. We forget that the full force of life is hitting you no matter whether you confront it or not. Along those dimensions of our existence, we may as well be impaired. When you do something without awareness, day in and day out - for example in my college, the mess food is something that takes the creativity out of the process of obtaining my food - how am I to cook, nutritious healthy food, and to fit that into the process of my day?

The amount of awareness required is almost scary, I realise as I write this. However, we have all had access to this at points in our life. Given that you accept that you need to live, the only real way to "live" is to go through this whole path in a unique and creative way.