My Too (Many) Cents

 Life for me has always been suffering interlaced with temporary moments of happiness. If I think back to all the mental states I know, much more of them have been spent in lack. In waiting. Waiting for life to happen to me. A nagging sensation that this is not what my life is supposed to be like. And that possibly, somewhere out there, there is a version of me who is living the best life I could be living. His life is not mine though, yet I constantly use him as an excuse, to devalue my own experience. My friendships are empty, my relationships are empty. Every thought is plagued by the promise of a 'what if(?)' or an 'if only' There have been certain moments that surpass the dissatisfaction inherent in every waking experience. I have felt in those moments that I am underneath the flow of life as it passes over me and refreshes me. I have experienced it in badminton; The absolute, unwavering concentration that carries within it the plethora of expressions and emotions

Preface 13.  (4/06/24) Old World - Substantial life - the forms of knowledge here don’t quite work fully yet they still have form and content. Nascent Sciences - seem esoteric and understandable by only few individuals sometimes because it takes away the determinacy the old world has. But this is important for the development. Real Science is OPEN - capable of being learned and apprehended by ALL - this is what science turns towards.  14. (4/6/24) Science as process - Knowledge that can account for itself (get over the epistemic circularity that is fundamental) - and for the historical process through which it emerged. Huge Undertaking. Nascent science  not complete in details (not enough data) = content not complete in articulation = form. real science should be able to articulate in satisfactory terms what its studying and itself as the method of study. i.e. become adequate to the things its studying. One = old world, old science -> intelligible, wealth of the material. Other

 Sense Certainty 92.  (3/6/24)If we examine sense certainty and think of its essence then it’s not actually immediate, pure being. To think sense certainty, we must think an example of sense certainty and not its essence itself. And to refer to sense certainty we must implicitly split the experience into two ‘thises’. a ‘this’ which is the ‘I’ which experiences and a ‘this’ which is the object of experience. e.g someone describing an experienc of sense certainty may say it’s like “When you’re in the flow state”.  93. (3/6/24) This mediation described in the previous paragraph is not just a heuristic we need to use to refer to sense certainty, but rather embedded in its essence itself. There is an object which exists independent of our knowing of it and keeps producing sensory information. The relation between the ‘I’ and the object is knowing. This is contingent. It doesn’t NEED to happen. Progress: 16/808

Sense Certainty  90.  (2/6/24) In apprehending we must resist the urge to comprehend ‘what is’. apprehension = Aufassen. comprehension = begreifen. If we try to conceptually comprehend it, that cognition colours the mere sensate qualia. 91. (2/6/24) Sense certainty is an immediate experience of qualia. It seems spatiotemporally infinite due to the fractal nature of qualia. i.e. wherever we focus, it extends infinitely. It is being itself. Lots of religious and mystical metaphors are probably referring to and romanticizing this state. e.g. enlightenment. or the fall of eden. Hegel does not satisfactorily make the case that one cannot remain in sense certainty.  Why is a situation not posible where In a krishnamurtian sense if there is just an experience of the body or e.g. feldenkrais somatic experiencing, where the necessary mechanistic knowledge flows out at the level of determinate knowledge even though you are penetrated into sense certainty. Emotions are somatic qualia at the level