aparigraha
My younger self has saved me multiple times. Every single time I decided to stay with my thoughts and emotions and digest them and understand them, it has been an act of rebellion against the superficiality of society. That is not to say I am perfect. I've struggled with porn because my body likes that it helps me soothe my anxiety, probably undiagnosed ADHD and my intense self hatred for maybe 7 years now. I fall and fall and fall again. It was why I was and am terribly afraid of substances. There is a beautiful perspective on life inside me. Every time someone succeeds in a way that makes me curse my circumstances or consider selling out, Every time the way I think hurts me instead of helping me, मैं उसे कोसता हूँ । It seems to me like the world is telling me that there's no space for you here. Why not optimize yourself? Why not be a superficial asshole, or an intellectual masturbator? And yet there's a ray of truth that has spoken to me even in those nights spent alone ...